Ok, I’m just going to get straight to the point. Can Justin please stop wearing suits, ties, and vests??? Where the fuck is he going? The Guv’nah’s ball? M’Lady’s coronation? Jakey G’s commitment ceremony? No? I THOUGHT SO. So STOP. Yes, I may be irrationally angry, but whatever, I hate to think that he regards himself (and god forbid other people regard him) as a trendsetter. Because dressing “up” is not trendsetting, it’s copping out and pretending you’re classy. Because you’re not actually classy. Because when you were 18, you had a huge white-man fro and pierced ears. So shut up and sing! (Dixie Chicks hollaaa)

Speaking of, when singing, please sing well. Take your Grammy performances (read: attempts to show Justin playing real instruments) last night for example. I realize falsetto is your “strength,” but high pitched ooh-ing and aah-ing (as Livvy mentioned her X-tina post) is never welcome. To avoid that problem, maybe you should consider not using falsetto on every single track. For once. Shocking, I know. Look for yourself:

Don’t get me wrong, Justin, you’re a great performer, but all I’m saying is, wearing fedoras, vests, and handkerchiefs draped ever-so-slightly out of your back pockets isn’t some kind of fashion statement. It’s been done, son. And for god’s sake why do you even need a full three-piece suit? If I’m not mistaken, your fan base is largely 13-20 year old females (read: me and Livvy) and last time I checked, they didn’t want to see their delusional gay uncle perform on stage. Now I’m not saying you should revert back to the matching denim outfits of the BS days, but remember when you were half naked on the cover of Rolling Stone? That was a good look.

Ok so a little recap. Keep with the dancing, stop with the falsetto, wear less clothing oh and one more thing – try to stay off my movie screen too. Remember when you played supermodel Jason Sharp in Model Behavior? UGH AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN HOT.


1 Response to “FutureTacky/LoveTacky”

  1. 1 abisola February 16, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    I am offended, i love justin too much to let you talk about him. He is too fine. I must admit that he just might have to stop dressing himself he is too delicious for it to really matter. Please steven, don’t be mad because you’re not Justin!

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