Michael Lohan Wants to Save/Bone You!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usSo after a week of semi-questionable decisions and unquestionable isolation from world news (read: celeb news), I think it only fitting to make my first post-Cabo post about…Lindsay, doi. Well, not so much about Linds as Michael Lohan, the guy who helped spawn the woman we like to call “LaLiLohandar” (or just LiLo). MiLo (get it?!) was released from jail earlier this week and shockingly has gone public about everything in his life ever since the beginning of time.

Seriously, he just got out of jail and the first thing we find out is that he’s got a few reality shows he wants to pitch. Normally, I could give a rat’s ass about any of this but when one of said shows includes putting MiLo, LiLo, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and their dads onto a DESERTED ISLAND where there’s nothing to do but bone each other and partake in extremely awkward and incestuous orgies, I have to put my foot down. Espesh considering Michael’s track record of being completely obsessed with his daughter. And fine, I’m not really one to judge someone else for blindly supporting Linds but then again, I wasn’t exactly involved in the sexual intercourse that led to her birth. In fact, I wasn’t even born then so really, when it comes down to it, my love for Lindsay and hot dogs is totally legit.

And I haven’t even gotten to the part where one of the other shows he wants to pitch would involve his giving money to prostitutes “just to talk to them and save them.” Because I’m sure what any prostitute really wants in life is to be “saved” by an alcoholic with rage issues instead of finding an actual alternative to, as my mother might say, “hookin.” Ugh, BWE (baby wanna eat).

Sidenote: I thought I should mention that while in jail, MiLo apparently bragged to other inmates about doing Lindsay’s stunt double! Needless to say, this really doesn’t help the whole “I’m-just-your-worried-dad” cause but does help the “Livvy-posting-about-MiLo-being-attracted-to-his-daughter” cause. So, kudos on that.

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1 Response to “Michael Lohan Wants to Save/Bone You!”

  1. 1 electrolux vacuum cleaners October 17, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    Yes! Finallyy something about isolation.

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