Archive for the 'in overheards' Category

Overheard in Providizzle #03

Asexual Asian: I wanna be black!
Bootylicious BJ: I wanna be Neve Campbell!
Lady Lagina: I wanna be the latina!
Slutty Snadwich: I wanna be the man with the monkey!
–Overheard by four people having completely different conversations about race, The Craft and Captain Planet…mmmm sexy green mullet!

Greek Goddess: [while watching Battlestar Galactica and wondering why the boys don’t flock to her] You know what? It’s a sacrifice you have to make for humanity…I don’t understand!
–Overheard by Kimono Dragon

PA: Lindsay, we need you right away.
Firecrotch Lohan: Oh my God, don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of normal person!

Okay so maybe that last one wasn’t “overheard in Providence” per se because we have yet to force Lindsay to be best friends with us and be really bitchy and make us go out and buy her N.E.R.D. CDs BUT this was obviously worth posting.


Overheard in Providizzle #02

Asian Actor/Model (singing): I want a Benetton shirrt and I came here to flirrt…
Jew-Greek Prostitute: I came here to VOMIT
—— Overheard by: couple in loveless marriage

Puppygirl: There is a ton of underwear in our sink right now.
Puppyboy(?): Where’s the bloody tampon?
—— Overheard by: the Jury

Small man (on the phone): Why? Be comfortable around me. You pooped on me. I’m addicted to you. Oh my god, I read my play in Playwrighting and I don’t think my teacher liked it very much. It was about a guy who was trying to suck his own dick…
—— Overheard by: asexual baby GAYsha

Overheard in Providizzle #01

Welcome. This is the first in our weekly series: Overheard in Providizzle. You may have heard of best-idea-ever Overheard in New York. Well, because we collectively love it so much here in Providence 16, we’re going to try something along the same lines. You may ask: How can you keep it up? When you live with an Asian Baby, a BFG (big friendly giant), a Greek goddess (read: actually from Jersey), and an un-willing Kwoksucker, it’s really not a problem. So here goes!:

Asian baby: If I start to walk vigorously everywhere I go, can I not work out?
–overheard by Different Eye-Sized Boy

Dancing queen: If I’m a vegan, I can still eat bananas, right?
–overheard by Why Am I Home on a Saturday night?

Wannabe geisha: Fuck your face, dude!
–overheard by I Feel Like Monica Gellar’s Fat Suit

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